


Forgetting is not an Option

by hanyou_elf



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:59:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyou_elf/pseuds/hanyou_elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All to forget some stupid bastard who'd hurt him.  And he couldn't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgetting is not an Option

Thighs clenched painfully tight around his lover, holding him steady as he rolled his hips forward, impaling himself on his lover's erection, forcing the hot length as deep into his body as he could get it. His head was thrown back, his arm braced behind him while his left hand fisted his own erection. He wanted to get off so badly, but he wanted to make sure the other man came too. He wasn't here just for his own pleasure, otherwise he wouldn't be the one being fucked. Even if that was fun too.

He smiled widely as he shook his head, dispelling the distracting thoughts. He had no room to think of anything else but the man fucking him, the man pushing him ever closer to the little death he longed for. He rode his partner, groaning as he finally hit his prostate. He really was an idiot to be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. He was addicted to the little death, to the way it felt when he came. He craved the pleasure that crested his body, that threw him for a loop every time he expelled the sticky fluid. He wanted his partners voices lifted to the heavens, crying his name as they came.

It was good.

And he hated himself for his desperation.

All to forget some stupid bastard who'd tried to hurt him. Uchiha Sasuke had hurt him in the worst possible way. Deeply, in his soul. In a way that was completely unforgivable. Sasuke had betrayed him: his trust, his bonds, his love. Sasuke had done the unthinkable and turned around to fuck another man. He would have fucked Sasuke as much as he wanted, would have done everything he could for Sasuke, because he had loved the pale skinned bastard. But he was alone now. Because Sasuke was a bastard. A cheating bastard who had hurt him.

He was finally getting close to his orgasm. Finally getting close to pushing this substitute out of his bed and away from him. He was finally getting to beautiful relief. He groaned, trying to push the way it had felt to be buried in Sasuke's ass out of his mind. He couldn't think about the way it had felt to be in Sasuke, couldn't think about how perfect they had been together. He couldn't think about Sasuke. Not anymore.

His body was tensing, his mind shutting down to focus solely on the way it felt to be riding this man, on the way it felt to be fucked again. It had been a little while, and he regretted waiting so long, but he couldn't help himself. He was a man with a limited allowance for sex. Being a soldier and being gay did not necessarily mean he could have any sample of the man flesh wandering around him. He had to be careful not to let the army know, not to let the wrong people know his orientation because he didn't want to be discharged. He liked serving the country, he liked fighting for his freedoms.

And he hated hiding who he was.

He didn't know why he bothered messing with these whores. He had to do most of the work and he was never completely satisfied, not like he had been with Sasuke. Sasuke had been able to wrench that level of perfection he expected in sex out of him. Nobody had been able to match it just yet. Not even when he'd gotten drunk and forced his old teacher to have sex with him. Kakashi-sensei was pretty good, an amazing lay, but it hadn't been what he'd expected.

A raw groan left his mouth as his back arched, his orgasm ripped from him as he thought about other things. He cried out, desperate to not form a name and filled the condom he had wrapped around his own erection. Sex was messy enough without having to wipe the sticky evidence off of his chest. He fisted his hand against the bed, growling in frustration as he came, not at all satisfied.

When his breathing was under control again, he pushed away from the man on the bed and stood, ignoring the feeling of the lubricant in his ass. He would get that out in the shower. He pulled his condom off and tied it shut before taking it to the bathroom. He would flush the evidence. He didn't want to remember what it was like fucking this man who meant nothing to him. This man who hadn't even been able to satisfy him.

“Get dressed and get out,” he ordered. He wasn't interested in having a conversation with this man, in seeing him for longer than necessary. “You weren't that great, get some practice and come back to see me,” he ordered him, shutting himself in the bathroom.

Sometimes he hated himself. He wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to come home to find Sasuke gone. He wasn't supposed to come home and find Sasuke had betrayed him so deeply, so completely. He hated Sasuke. He really did. He wasn't supposed to hate anyone, but he really did hate Sasuke. Sasuke had done something to intentionally hurt him, and it had worked. Sasuke was out of the picture, and although he could understand the need to not be with a man in the military, the bastard had been incredibly stupid in going about getting his way.

Fifteen months. He had been gone fifteen months when he had been allowed to come home to Sasuke. And it had been to find Sasuke in the bed with another man. And Sasuke had still been wearing the commitment ring he'd given the pale bastard. He'd dared to fuck another man while wearing his commitment ring. There really wasn't anything much lower than that. It was like cheating on your wife with another woman. Only, Sasuke had been the wife.

He was leaving home again in a week. Another fifteen months on duty. He couldn't wait to go, just to get away. But he would miss the ample opportunity he had to have sex. He couldn't exactly ask the nearest man for a bit of ass. He sighed as he turned the shower on, ignoring any sounds beyond the bathroom walls. He didn't really care if the man listened or not. He just wanted to shower, to get the stench of his promiscuous behavior off.

Almost everything he owned was at Kakashi-sensei's home. Perhaps he would spend the rest of the week at his sensei's home, pestering him for sex. Perhaps he would finish the week off topping the hell out of Kakashi, forcing him to succumb, until he couldn't walk anymore. He thought that would be a good going away present. He smiled as he turned the shower on, waiting for the water to be the perfect temperature before jumping in. He would miss his wonderful shower with the incredible water pressure, but it was a necessary sacrifice.

He leaned against the shower wall and closed his eyes, praying he would make it back home to Kakashi-sensei. He didn't want to die, but he knew it was a possibility. He'd seen his friends and companions die. And he hated Sasuke for not being strong enough to wait for him. When he came home, all he wanted was to be able to lose himself in his lover, in his partner, his other half. The one man he'd promised himself to, the one man who would understand him better than anyone else. He didn't want to have to try to start all over again between periods of active duty.

“Stupid bastard,” he growled.

And he hated that he found himself wondering if he could call up Sasuke and coax him into a night of passion. He shouldn't have been uncertain about having Sasuke physically, he should have just been able to go into his bedroom, pull the blankets back and have his wicked way with the slender, pale, beautiful bastard. Bastard. The worst part was knowing that he was actually considering calling Sasuke. He still had his cell phone number. Had it memorized, in fact. He would probably be able to do it. He ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it under the steady stream as he thought about it. Kakashi-sensei would disembowel him for even thinking of calling Sasuke. Every one of his friends could recall the depression he'd fallen into when he'd returned home to a cheating Sasuke.

But it was hard to ignore how beautiful Sasuke really was when he was being fucked. When his pale skin was flushed in pleasure, his body arced and bowed in a graceful arc, showing off every aspect of his beautiful body. He was a bastard, but he was a beautiful bastard. He was incredibly hot. Annoyingly so. And that's what had made it so rewarding having him as his boyfriend, as his committed partner.

Although when you thought about him as a committed partner it made him sound crazy...

He sighed as he grabbed the bar of soap. He was going to call Sasuke. He was going to ask him what the fuck had happened and ask him if he wanted a romp in the sheets, for old time's sake. If he wasn't seeing anyone else.

-.-.-.-.-

He groaned as he thrust forward, burying himself to the hilt in the pale man below him. Sasuke's body was still as tight as he could remember it being, and it made him happy. He loved the way the pale man engulfed him, the way Sasuke's voice was lifted to the heavens, crying out in pleasure as he drove forward. This was not purely for pleasure, this was not for fun. This was because he was pissed off. He was angry, and Sasuke had agreed to do it. Sasuke had known that if they had sex it wouldn't be very nice, that he would be pissed and he would take his anger out on Sasuke's body. But he hadn't cared. He had welcomed it, in fact. And it made him think about Sasuke, it worried him. What did it mean that Sasuke was so willing to be brutalized, just to make him happy.

Did Sasuke really regret what he'd done?

He didn't really know what to think of Sasuke's mindset, all he knew was that Sasuke was here, his beautiful, pale face was contorted in pleasure, screaming his name, and he was finally fucking him, like he'd wanted to do for a long, long time. He groaned as he pressed himself forward, rocking Sasuke with the force of his body. It was intoxicating, just being here again. It had been far too long, and he regretted not being able to bury himself in Sasuke's body more often, while he had been here.

“I'm leaving... in a week,” he grunted, forcing himself deep into Sasuke's body. He wasn't going to be nice, and he wasn't going to be gentle. This was pure, carnal fucking. That was the best thing they were going to get tonight. They weren't lovers anymore, so there wouldn't be any making love. But he wanted to just make love, to be gentle and show Sasuke that he still loved him, even if it hurt him so badly.

“Where?” Sasuke panted. His body was tensing, grabbing onto the length impaling him. He grabbed his shoulders, using the leverage to meet, thrust for thrust.

“It doesn't matter,” he answered. He pressed forward, forcing himself as deep as he could into Sasuke's body. “Will you be here?” he asked instead.

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke panted, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck. “I'm sorry.”

Their bodies melded together, mixing dark and pale skin, uniting them for that brief moment in time when nothing else mattered but each other and their pleasure. “Sasuke,” he panted, driving forward, rocking the pale man over the edge. It was beautiful, the way he arched as he screamed, as he panted. He wanted nothing more than to see Sasuke like this, all the time, for the rest of his life.

“Will you be here?” he growled as he drove himself as deep as he could into Sasuke's suddenly too tight body. He froze as he came, filling Sasuke with his come, marking the pale man as primitively as possible.

“I'll be here,” Sasuke panted, wrapped in his arms, holding as tightly as he could. There were tears in his dark eyes as he looked up at his lover. They were both in a place of peace, where they belonged. It was incredible, and he wouldn't trade this moment with Sasuke for anything.

“I hated you,” he panted, resting heavily on Sasuke's heaving chest. “I hated you so much, but I couldn't forget about you.”

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke growled, digging his nails into the strong back above him, tightening his hold. “I... I'm sorry.”

“Don't hurt me again,” he ordered softly. Pressing kisses to Sasuke's neck and shoulders, he held Sasuke as close as he could, enjoying the nearness, the way they were pressed together so completely, so wholly. He didn't want to pull out of Sasuke's ass, afraid it all would have been a dream, but he didn't want to hurt the raven-haired man either. “Don't do it again. Just... just wait for me. Fifteen months, that's all it's going to take.”

“Will you come home to me?” Sasuke asked, almost childishly. He moved, letting Naruto's softened erection slide wetly out of his body.

“I will always come home to you,” he promised. “Don't hurt me again. I can't take it again.”

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke sighed softly. He tightened his hold on the back, shifting so the nails dragged reddened lines down his lover's tanned back.

He rolled off of Sasuke, laying quietly beside the pale body before asking seriously, “Why did you do it?”

“You stopped writing to me. You didn't email me anymore and I'm nothing in the army's eyes. I'm just your friend, they wouldn't have told me if you were dead,” he answered softly, his voice almost dead as he recounted the truth. “I... I don't know what I was thinking.”

“I was in the middle of a dead zone in the middle of a war,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Sasuke's temple. “I couldn't just contact you.”

“I was scared. And I couldn't do... I couldn't think. You... I... all I thought about was... was you being dead,” Sasuke explained softly. “I... I was trying to forget.”

“It was only a month Sasuke,” he whispered. “I couldn't contact you for just a month. I wasn't dead. I won't die.”

“You can't promise me that. You're a soldier!” Sasuke cried, desperation in his voice as he curled into a small ball.

He hadn't been with anyone since his betrayal so long ago. And it was nice to just be beside the overly warm body, taking in his completely masculine scent, enjoying the feel of the warm body against his own. They were together again, the way they should have always been. It shouldn't have happened, they shouldn't have been separated. And the time they'd spent apart had been completely Sasuke's fault. All he would have had to do was explain. Just tell him that it was because he was desperate. But he hadn't. He had turned around atop the man in his ass and bowed his head. He hadn't offered any sort of explanation. And he hadn't tried to stop his lover from leaving when he'd turned on his heel and walked out the door.

“Why... why did you just walk away?” Sasuke whispered, letting his desperation be known.

“Because, I live in a world full of violence. I won't let it be in my house,” he answered. “You should have remembered that.”

“I still have my ring,” Sasuke murmured, his voice soft and sleepy.

“You can start wearing it again.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I don't want to hear that you're sorry. I want you to promise that you won't do it again, that you'll be faithful to me this time even if I'm unable to talk to you for a month. Understand?” he asked softly but firmly, his voice leaving no room for discussion, for misunderstanding.

“I won't.”

“I'll come home for you,” he promised.

“I love you, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured quietly.


End file.
